The Root of Suffering

I grew up immersed in nature. From a young age I was concerned about humans’ abusive and consumptive relationship with the natural world. In my twenties, I served nonprofit organizations that worked on issues I thought were important: water and land conservation, education. After awhile, I noticed that although I was working hard on beneficial things, I was simultaneously experiencing high levels of stress that showed up as symptoms in my body.

Have you noticed how easy it is to generate conflict within ourselves and with others, even when we intend to do good?

Every war has been fought for peace. - Gurudev Shri Amritji

Now, I feel acutely the state of our world: the mass extinction of myriad life forms, our compulsion to ignore, deny, and lash out. I see us caught in cycles of “problem solving” that create more problems as they proffer solutions. I observe this collectively, as well as in my own life. What is it about human nature that prompts us to perpetuate suffering?

Yoga is a system that examines human consciousness and poses the possibility of alleviating self-caused suffering. These teachings resonate with me so deeply because I want REAL solutions that address the root issue from which all other problems arise.

Yoga and Ayurveda reach back thousands of years as intact systems of knowledge and practice. They contain lucid, straightforward explanations for the most meaningful problems we face. I trust these teachings to guide my explorations because they withstand the test of time, and they consistently demonstrate themselves to be true in my personal experiments within the context of my own life…as long as I understand and apply the principles correctly.

So what is the real problem with being human, and what is the solution?

We say “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” The same is true with problems. The problem is in the eye of the perceiver. - Gurudev Shri Amritji

Yoga clearly lists the source field of all types of human misery as avidya, often translated as ignorance. Sanskrit is a profound and powerful language with multiple dimensions of meaning. “Avidya” can mean “not knowing,” or not seeing. It implies going against what exists.

Our afflictions can be traced back to not knowing who we truly are.

It is from this root that all other suffering sprouts. This mistake of identity causes separation and disconnection. When we conjure changes outside by getting ourselves or others to conform to rules without doing the inner work to heal the rift within ourselves, at best, we have reformation. We might make the appearance of change, but the source problem does not go away; it simply takes another form.

Yoga is integration, connection. Yoga asks us to turn towards, to trace our pain back to its origin, to find our way by feeling in the dark to the very core of our own existence.

Here, stripped of countless layers of distraction and defense, we experience Being. We may feel it more than seeing it, like the subtle sensation of daylight seeping into a room where you have been sleeping.

There are many ways to reach into the core of ourselves, including some that may seem accidental; others, quite brutal. My theory is that life itself is a process of evolution that ultimately compels us toward this exploration. Yet the routes can be circuitous, defying all logic, and the timeframe is something approaching eternity. So we’re not likely to understand this journey with our mind.

Yoga helps not by giving us all the answers, but by providing us with the right tools for our journey, helping us to know what to look for, and to understand where we are going. These teachings are a map, and our life is the territory. We are explorers, adventurers in consciousness!

Yoga works from a paradigm of response-ability and self-empowerment, recognizing that we are co-creators with life. We have the ability to respond (response-ability) to what happens, and through this response-ability we can effect change. By learning the workings of our body, mind, and consciousness, we can actively participate in the process of transformation.

When we change from our core, transformation radiates into the world. This is what is means to “be the change you want to see in the world.” In order to reach transformation, we have to see differently. We must shift our perspective, what we believe about our selves, others, and the world. How do we accomplish this?

Gurudev would say that we must learn how to shift from conflict-creating, reactive interaction to co-creative harmonious interplay with who or what is present.

The practice of yoga is all about how to make this shift.

Start by noticing. Paying attention is turning toward. Turning toward is how we find our way back to the root.

First Things First

I have been a student of daily routine and committed practice for almost 23 years (more than half my life!). Over the course of these years, I’ve experimented, explored, observed, and struggled.

I continue to learn about myself, about life, and about health.

I continue to challenge my beliefs about freedom, agency, control, and what it means to be a conscious creator.

Inputs are among of the most powerful ways we influence ourselves. What we choose to connect with—and when and how we take things in or take action—affects our body, mind, emotions, and perceptions. This in turn affects how we interact and show up in life.

Gurudev often explained to me how unconscious patterns are built into our lifestyle as habits that support and reinforce inhibitions and false self-concepts. When I first heard this from him, I didn’t want to believe it; but after years of exploring, I have realized the truth.

Whenever we are struggling, whether physically, mentally, emotionally, or relationally, we need to look to how we are living to find the levers that will allow us to create change.

I’ve found that the more important something is, the more essential it is to do that thing FIRST in my day. The more the day unfolds, the less likely it is for me to be able to guarantee anything getting done!

Waking up to who I AM and being fully alive is my #1 priority. Consequently, I choose to start my day by cultivating life energy and connecting with my Self through sadhana (practice). The specifics look different on different days, but the core of the practice is experiencing myself as a prana-Being.

Especially if you are struggling with stress or worry, I advise you not to tap in to what causes you stress as soon as you become conscious. Skip scrolling Facebook or the news first thing. Make your work wait until after breakfast. You can be of service in the world after you have fed yourself (unless you are a mom; this requires a whole different level of practice).

Instead, make a point to connect with yourself before you invite anyone or anything from the external world to take up space in your consciousness, or claim a stake on your precious life energy.

If you are wondering what kind of tools you can use to connect with yourself, try one of my guided practices on Insight Timer. Pick one that fits your available time and practice it as one of the first things you do in your day. Try it for a week and see how it influences your quality of life.

Sample morning routine:

1. Wake up

2. Go to the bathroom

3. Brush your teeth and wash your face

4. Drink 8-16oz warm water (squeeze of lemon or lime optional)

5. Connect with yourself through practice

6. Now you’re ready for the day! Let ‘er rip!

I’d love to hear about your journey.

Connect with yourSelf before you connect to anything else.

You are the key to your health, harmony, and happiness.

Where the Trouble Starts

Ayurveda describes life as a flow of energy and information through form.

When the flow stops, life stops. This flow is characterized by change. Life is constantly transforming from one form into another, breaking down from complex into simpler substances and growing from basic elements into more intricate expressions.

To be alive is to be growing, changing, and dying.

Creation, sustenance, and transformation/destruction are happening simultaneously, everywhere, all the time. In yogic terms, life is the dance of Shiva and Shakti, Consciousness (information) and Energy/Matter (Energy is matter; check with Einstein: E=mc2).

In Ayurveda, the principle of transformation within the bodies of all living things, including Earth herself, is known as agni. Agni is fire, light, and heat. It is the capacity to break down and release energy, and it is the energy itself in the form of radiance. Agni is cause of photosynthesis in plants and metabolism in animals and humans.

In our body, agni governs the processes of digestion. A major part of digestion is breaking down inputs into building blocks that can be used by the cells to generate new tissues. Agni works intimately with our life force energy, prana, to separate nutrients from toxins and wastes, assimilate and absorb nutrients into tissues, and expel/eliminate waste. Agni performs this same function at the mental and emotional levels. When agni is healthy, we are able to take in and digest information, think and perceive clearly, and make decisions. We feel light, energetic, and hungry to experience life in a good way.

You can see how agni is essential to life and to health. In fact, disease cannot develop on any level, physical or mental, without an imbalance, disturbance, or dysfunction in agni.

When digestion, metabolism, and elimination are working perfectly we are all systems go. Our immune system is resilient and fully functional, we are in symbiosis with our environment, we are producing healthy body tissues, and we are able to eliminate wastes and toxins from our system. Weakness develops when some aspect of this flow is disrupted.

This means that our digestive processes are THE key to health. Period.

There is not a single disease which does not include some type of disturbance to digestion or metabolism. Disease begins as a subtle imbalance, develops into niggling concerns, and if left unaddressed, eventually progresses until it alters body tissues and real symptoms start to manifest.

Western medicine rarely recognizes the connection between a change in our digestive capacity and the development of a problem until we are in the latest stages of disease. By contrast, Ayurveda is about disease prevention. It teaches us about the workings of our bodies and minds in detail and teaches us how to observe, assess, and correct, and optimize as necessary.

If you are only going to learn one thing from Ayurveda, learn how to assess and tend to your agni.

Some of the core work we do together with Ayurvedic Health Counseling is centered on this.

Want to learn more? Keep reading! And schedule an Ayurvedic Health Consultation with me.

Soul Fire

Consider that you are a genius,

that you were born with a precious spark of perception, motivation, expression unlike any other.

Through the natural course of life, this spark was overcast by deep shadows of collectively held beliefs, coated by opaque lacquer of unspoken assumptions, muffled and buried under insulating layers of what you should do and how you should be. The most well-intentioned and trusted people in your life piled it on in the name of protecting you and preparing you to deal with life. Because that is what we were taught to do.

Being the good human that you are, you soldiered on. You’ve done the best you could to fulfill your duty.

Somehow that spark has stayed alive, and for years it was a constant source of slight irritation for you, because it rarely seemed to help you do what you “had” to do or what you “should” do, but instead has always whispered alluringly for you to explore experiences and do things that seem utterly irrational, unproductive, inefficient, and otherwise against your obligations as a “responsible adult.” And you’ve kept it at bay by answering its requests to explore and play with, “Later….later,” all the while dedicating your vitality to the To-Do list.

Yet the deeper desire in you to live true and live fully expands beyond what is expected of you. The seed of consciousness which is the evolutionary imperative within you will not stop calling you toward yourself, toward your soul.

Gradually through the tempering of life’s projects—beginnings and endings, dreams and failures—you have begun to recognize that achievement of the standards you’ve learned and upheld doesn’t bring zest for life. This grind to show up the way you are supposed to actually drains your energy, and it doesn’t even bring a guarantee of security!

And the persistence of that tiny voice, that impulse to keep searching, has prompted you to ever-so-slightly turn towards the spark, to listen with tentative curiosity. Maybe you started running. Maybe you took a yoga class, started journaling, or spent a day planting trees.

Whatever you did to crack the door to this tiny spark, the moment it received even a breath of air, it sprung to life and started to dance inside you.

Your courage grows.

You start to meditate regularly. You begin to explore dietary changes. You take a day off from work to be with your kids—or with yourself. You decide not to buy the thing that you know has such a horrible environmental impact. You trade your $5/day latte for a superfood meal. And you see what happens.

You’ve begun to understand that the part of you that seemed so unruly, so difficult to discipline and impossible to channel - this part of you feeds directly from the vibrant fountain of Life itself. This is your connection to vigor, inspiration, and happiness. It is the genius of your essence, outside all learned notions and conditioned responses around how you should be.

And this spark within you, this atom of Nature, is you as a part of the whole of life. It carries the intelligence of the whole, and it carries the desire for healing of the whole, and it carries the strength to really live into your deepest questions, to courageously pursue your deepest wishes, and to face your deepest fears with compassion. It stands for the fulfillment of your divine (beyond human) potential.

It continuously serves your highest growth.

Now that you’ve glimpsed your Self, you are beginning to admit the truth: your REAL job is to tend this fire within you, to dis-cover this genius, to build a hearth within your body and your life where it can burn brightly and bring warmth to the world.

It’s not easy - because most of the world is asleep, trained to pay for electricity instead of connecting to the sustainable power source within. When the world sees a real fire burning, it panics and comes running, yelling, “Put it out!”

That’s why you need to build a moat of calm resilience around your soul-fire. To protect yourself and contain your vibrancy so that you can channel it for the benefit of all.

The world will not validate your efforts. You will have to use what you’ve learned to penetrate illusions, feel into your own heart, and find your way into the unknown, again and again.

Good thing you’re a genius.

You’ll figure it out.

Meditation

There is no one else.

There is nothing else.

There is not even me.

Alone is impossible:

it’s all one no-thing-ness.

Yet

here I am,

sensing a shift,

from me to nothingness.

Silence,

as if a rain drop

were suddenly to know itself

as water and cloud.

No;

even beyond the form of all

I emerge,

silent.

Nothing to say.

Nothing to do.

I notice

I am once again

alone.